download.jpg1Failure to me doesn’t necessarily mean failing, if I don’t achieve the best it still feels like a fail in my mind. If I put all my effort into a project and the outcome was a fail, that would just prove how stupid I am right?

Education and the fear of failing:

In secondary school I didn’t revise for any of my important exams, I believed it was better to fail alone, than to try hard and still fail. I’m not sure who I was impressing as I’m sure my family and friends were supportive as long as I was happy. I’d never failed anything before, I’ve always been quite academic, so I’m very unsure where this fear came from, I had no pressure to succeed other than myself. Yet the fear of failure was so overwhelming I let it take over.

What’s ‘annoying’ is I stilled passed all 21 exams I took, mostly A’s, nothing less than a B. Therefore this should prove to me I’m not as stupid as I think myself. Imagine how well I could have done if I revised even a little.

How I am now:

To this day I still hold on tight to this fear, and let it affect me. I am now studying at degree level and am overwhelmed with lack of faith that I constantly believe my assignment and grades will come back low, not that they have. I study from home, so mostly keep my education to myself, to ensure no expectations from others.

It affects my education most, but also feeds into my daily life sometimes. I fear playing sports at my gym or with my partners friends as I use to play lots when I was younger, so feel they have a high expectation of me. Which is ridiculous even in my mind as we only play for fun, and doesn’t really matter at all if I don’t play the best, yet it still stops me from participating.

I have no logic to why I am so afraid of failing. Maybe a severe lack of self esteem and faith in myself? I’m really not sure, but I wish I could suddenly overcome it. If anyone reading has a similar fear, or has any advise, please share below!

Thank you for reading, I hope you have faith in yourself!

 

6 thoughts on “Fear of failure

  1. Thank you for this post. I love martial arts. But I was crippled by my own inadequacy at it. So I decided to nof do it for 15 years.
    Yesterday I said Im fed up of waiting for when the moment was right.
    I went to my first brazilian ju jitsu class.
    And guess what it was fine.
    First step for me was to get out of my own head by just saying once ive commited there is no going back

    Hope this helps

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, I am genuinely so happy to read this! Well done! This is so motivating, I think just going to do something without thinking beforehand is sometimes the best way to go. I hope you continue to enjoy the new classes, I wish you well!

      Like

  2. I was exactly the same in school. I never revised but I had this horrible fear of falling. For me I think it’s because I was always supposed to be the ‘smart one’ so if someone got a better mark than me it was always a big thing. So better to not try. It makes no sense but that’s what it felt like.

    Liked by 1 person

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