Firstly, I’d just like to put a trigger warning on this post for anyone who is sensitive to the topic of self harm, suicide and mental illness. These posts are written in diary form, therefore it is not necessarily factual/helpful to those who may be struggling, please take this into consideration when reading. If anything causes you concern, you are welcome to email me or reach out to a mental health helpline.
Only a week ago I wrote a blog post ‘Therapy Update’, where I updated you all on my CBT experience, and how optimistic I was. Well.. my therapist is leaving. Next week. So soon. I was shocked, mostly sad, I am terrible at good byes, and now I’ll have to do another one.
This was very unexpected as we agreed to 8 months of treatment together, and I’m frankly not ready for him to leave. I’m not sure if I can handle starting new with another therapist, so I may be leaving treatment altogether. I haven’t decided yet, any advice would be appreciated. I feel like restarting with someone new, will be taking steps back from what I’ve already learnt.
He will still be in contact with my for the next week, where we will go over everything we have done together so far and finalize it all. He’ll also leave me with a few self-therapy tools, to work on by myself, as well as make sure my safety plan is completed.
I spent yesterday crying, yes; the entire day. I’ve woken with a clearer mind, but am still not sure what to do about treatment. I felt quite suicidal yesterday, but knew it was an irrational thought. I’m sure I’ll update soon,once I’ve decided.
I have some good news, my new semester has started and the module is really interesting. I also have a job interview this week, for part time work, which I need, but again not sure if it’s something I should do. I’m going on holiday next week, which will be a nice break before everything becomes full force.
I’m upset, and dreading the final goodbye, but know this is only a small blip. Thank you for reading.