Firstly, I’d just like to put a trigger warning on this post for anyone who is sensitive to the topic of self harm, suicide and mental illness. These posts are written in diary form, therefore it is not necessarily factual/helpful to those who may be struggling, please take this into consideration when reading. If anything causes you concern, you are welcome to email me or reach out to a mental health helpline.

depositphotos_67297861-stock-photo-time-to-say-goodbye-message

Only a week ago I wrote a blog post ‘Therapy Update’, where I updated you all on my CBT experience, and how optimistic I was. Well.. my therapist is leaving. Next week. So soon. I was shocked, mostly sad, I am terrible at good byes, and now I’ll have to do another one.

This was very unexpected as we agreed to 8 months of treatment together, and I’m frankly not ready for him to leave. I’m not sure if I can handle starting new with another therapist, so I may be leaving treatment altogether. I haven’t decided yet, any advice would be appreciated. I feel like restarting with someone new, will be taking steps back from what I’ve already learnt.

He will still be in contact with my for the next week, where we will go over everything we have done together so far and finalize it all. He’ll also leave me with a few self-therapy tools, to work on by myself, as well as make sure my safety plan is completed.

I spent yesterday crying, yes; the entire day. I’ve woken with a clearer mind, but am still not sure what to do about treatment. I felt quite suicidal yesterday, but knew it was an irrational thought. I’m sure I’ll update soon,once I’ve decided.

I have some good news, my new semester has started and the module is really interesting. I also have a job interview this week, for part time work, which I need, but again not sure if it’s something I should do. I’m going on holiday next week, which will be a nice break before everything becomes full force.

I’m upset, and dreading the final goodbye, but know this is only a small blip. Thank you for reading.

 

26 thoughts on “My therapist is leaving me…

  1. Hey cheer up! You gotta look at the things that work and appreciate what you got. Also, when you dig to much in depressive stuff, it tends to reinforce itself. Better look at the bright side.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can relate to this post so painfully WELL. My full on depressive episode was triggered (not caused but just triggered) when my therapist told me she thinks I was okay to not see her anymore. Which IS a good thing, but I wasn’t really communicating with her that my mental space wasn’t at its best state when she let me go.

    I spent HOURS crying, and I thought my depressive episode happened just because I was going to miss her so much and I HATE good byes.

    Not to blame anything on my therapist, but goodbyes are hard. It’s an “oddly perfect” relationship that shouldn’t last forever, but you don’t want it to end.

    Im so encouraged by your vulnerability to share this here! Please keep us posted in how you’re doing.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You’re very brave for sharing this. I hope everything works out for you. I sometimes feel down on myself and reading as always help me escape, books were always my type of therapy. Keep your head up 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This might not be very helpful but my opinion would be to see how you go for a little while by yourself or just go to the new therapist and see how that goes and then make the decision after that. I hope everything works out x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I think a therapist leaving before you have completed the work (or the agreed time frame) is really difficult, particularly if there are feelings of attachment to the therapist. It’s natural that you’d feel a sense of loss when someone who has become important to you and has been a support leaves. The notice period is very short. I would really struggle with that, too. On the plus side I can say this from personal experience: I had to end therapy with a therapist I’d been working with for almost two years when money got really tight. It felt hard at the time because I really valued the sessions but a year later I met my current therapist and we’ve done work and delved places I had no idea existed. I wouldn’t change a thing now. So, there is hope! I wish you well in whatever you decide to do moving forward X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for understanding, this really mean’s a lot!! You’re right, my therapist said a new one might be able to go into things with a different perspective from him. I think I’ll leave for a little while, and go back into therapy once I feel ready! I’m glad it worked out well for you:) Thank you, and you! x

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Who you have as a 5herapist matters a lot. There has to be both trust and chemistry. I think it’s perfectly possible to achiev3 that with different therapists, but don’t be afraid to rest drive and say no as soon as you think you are not gelling. You are worth shopping around for!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Thank you for sharing. Must be hard that the therapist you know and trust is leaving but I think it is something to be proud of that you have gotten close to this therapist. Depression can cause you to close down, shut people out and not listen – but you have overcome these issues and formed a positive relationship with your therapist. You have done it once so you can do it again! (MUCH easier said than done I know! Good luck!)

    Zoe

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Bless you this is tough, I don’t know if this will be helpful but if it was me I would only take a break if you feel absolutely ready to. Starting with a new therapist might feel like a couple of steps back but if you don’t and arnt ready to not be in therapy it could hurdle you 10 steps back. I really hope things work out, good luck xx

    Liked by 1 person

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