Firstly, I’d just like to put a trigger warning on this post for anyone who is sensitive to the topic of OCD/mental illness. These posts are written in diary form, therefore it is not necessarily factual/helpful to those who may be struggling, please take this into consideration when reading. If anything causes you concern, you are welcome to email me or reach out to a mental health helpline.
I didn’t write OCD; obsessive compulsive disorder in the title, nor will be referring to it in any of my posts as I don’t have a diagnosis. Although I do experience intrusive thoughts which result in these actions,
The past few years I have been fixated on having minimal possessions, in all aspects, not just my clothes, makeup and stationary but everything, the kitchen cupboards, surfaces and drawers. I donated/gave away/threw away around 75% of my possessions. This included emptying my parent’s loft/attic of my childhood things.
As you all know, I adore reading, and always need a book to hand. Despite this, I donated over 150 of my books, basically them all. I only kept the very sentimental ones, and my favorites, which only take up one small shelf, there is probably less than 20. I enjoyed having nearly 200 books, but I couldn’t cope with the thought of all the clutter. I suppose it doesn’t look like clutter as they were very neatly organized on my shelves, but it felt unnecessary to have these books that won’t be used often. Just more things for germs to sit on. People can’t understand how I read 100 books a year, but my house is sparse of them.
Stationary, this doesn’t really have a negative affect on my life as a whole but does interfere with my every day. I have an inability, not just a dislike to have things written in note books. I write lists every day, literally! I have a notebook specially for them, but I must tear the page out once I’ve completed everything. I can’t think straight writing on a new page if I know the page before still has words on. It probably sounds odd, and wasteful (I do recycle the lose page everyday haha). I also have a need to have minimal pens, why have so many black ink pens when I’ll only need one at a time, they last for ever anyway? This has been difficult since moving in with my partner a few years ago, he has so many! I couldn’t throw away usable pens, so I’ve had to slowly use the same pen until the inks gone, until I get into the comfort of only having 3. (Yes, he thinks I’m very annoying, but he appreciates the drawer organizations haha)
This one is a little embarrassing, but am going to share anyway, my blog is anonymous anyway. Underwear, I have to have them all by the same brand, it doesn’t matter what brand, as long as they are the same. I use calvin kein, as I can be ensured it will be easy to buy news one without replacing my entire drawer every time I need some new ones. I did throw away all my underwear and started fresh, buying all the exact same. It’s the same with socks, luckily these are cheap. Thankfully this ‘rule’ does not apply to clothes, otherwise I would look a little crazy wearing the same outfit every day.
Is this an obsessive, or just like the preference of having organized and neat drawers, or just being minimalistic? I have not, nor will read into minimalism or books like ‘The life changing magic of tidying up’ as it may get out of hand. I don’t watch organization videos ect, but prefer to do everything at my own comfort. I do have the occasional freak out if I feel too cluttered/feel like I have too many possessions but have nothing logical to dispose of. Thank you for reading, there is many other little ‘quirks’ but I thought I’d just share the little ones today.