This isn’t really an advise post as I am struggling SO much with this currently, and have been for a few months, around 2 years. Firstly, I am not alone, I have a partner who I have been with for 6 years and now live together, he is my best friend. He has lots of friends, thus kind of making them my friends. I only see them when he is there too, they are mostly guys and are only my friends because of him. I feel it’s important to have separate friends.
I have no friends of my own. I have no contacts in my phone, I don’t message anyone, I do not have social media either. (I may make a separate post on why I don’t have/use social media). I often wish I could have someone to text with, as I don’t want to take all my thoughts to my partner. I also want to go out/ do activities without my boyfriend. I do phone my grandparents weekly!
They say it’ll come when you least expect it, it’s been a few years, but I am still hoping this is the case haha. Loneliness is something I feel regularly, but not all the time. I can’t phantom how on earth to describe what feeling lonely feels like… But it’s definitely one of the lowest emotions.
I do my degree online, so do not have the chance to meet students studying the same as I. I work part time too and get along well with my colleagues, but don’t see/message them at all outside of work. They often meet up, but I haven’t yet been invited. Although I feel we get on well, my brain wants me to believe they are purposely leaving me out as they all dislike me…
I grew up with a very close best friend, from around 2 years old, to teenagers. We naturally grew apart towards the end of high school, as she drifted into another friendship group. We still hear from each other every few months and catch up on each others family, but I haven’t seen her in about 3 years. We spoke about meeting for coffee for a huge catch up, but we now live in different cities, so hasn’t worked out yet. I do miss her, A LOT! I’m not sure she feels the same, as I have such fond memories.
I’m not sure how to change this situation/where to meet new people who genuinely want to make a real connection. I don’t want new acquaintances, I want a connection, a real genuine connection. Do I have too high of an expectation?