I can’t think clearly when there is mess?

This is a little odd thing for me to write about as every time I try to describe this in real life, it doesn’t quite represent what I am actually trying to explain. The title of this post is very reflective on what I am going to write about haha. It is more of a mental mess than physical, but applies to both. I am a typical ‘neat freak’. I feel uncomfortable when items aren’t in the place they are supposed to be. I thrive on tidiness!

My partner is not a tidy person, and I do not mind this as I get to tidy up after him too, haha. My issue is not just having things in the ‘correct’ place, but to have them out of vision. ‘Out of sight, out of mind’ is a great saying for me! I physically cannot think clearly where there is other things that aren’t needed. For example, a desk. If I want to study, the desk has to be completely empty, as in pens, notebooks, cups or material that is not being used. If I need to use more than one text book, only one can be on the table and open at a time. Otherwise I feel I have to have the content from both books in my mind. Odd, I know.

My main focus of this ‘issue’ is to not have excess ‘space’/memory in my mind cluttered with non useful/ only parts of information. I aim to have only in my head the amount needed, and be confident I am fully in control/fully known the information.

It does and can affect my day to day life. I only allow myself to listen to 3 different artists. I don’t mind too much, but it would be nice to be able to comfortably listen to new music. I have 3 albums on spotify,one for each artist. I have to know all the songs before they go in. Therefore when a new album comes out by one of my artists I have to constantly listen to it on repeat for a few weeks. One of the three artists no longer makes music, therefore this is my most comfortable and relaxing album, as the extent of this space in my brain is already filled.

I could write lots more different ways in which this idea of having mess in my brain affects different things. Would you like me to write about more? Do you also experience this? I’d love to know your opinions. Do you think this is a quirk or an issue?


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