Recognising when I need to ask for help

Ever since my mental health journey began, I have been silent. I have kept my mind to myself, and have only shared my illness with my partner. I have had a few incidents/situations where others have probably wondered/ could see something wasn’t right, but it never escalated, and I was left in my own comfort of privacy.

If you have been reading my posts as of late, you will be aware that very recently I spoke to others about my mental health. This may not be hard for some. but this a HUGE step for me. I know do not know where this leads me now. They have been incredibly supportive, and repetitively made me aware that I can reach out to them at any time.

I do not know how to ask for help? When I am feeling particularly low or suicidal, and am wanting to reach out. How? How do I ask for support, when I don’t exactly know what I’d like them to do? Won’t it feel like I am burdening them? I don’t want people to go out of there way or spend their own time with me. Yet when experiencing suicidal thoughts, it can be nice to know you are not alone.

As always, I am in two mindsets about everything…


  1. I understand how difficult it can be to reach out for support when you are feeling low. Isolating ourselves and trying to deal with it all on our own is a coping strategy learned over time to protect ourselves. But I can promise you this, even if all you need is someone to sit in the same room with you in complete silence, don’t be afraid to tell them that! If you don’t know what you need and you’re experiencing intrusive thoughts, that is all you need to say. I don’t know you personally but from what I gather reading your blog posts, you are loved! You are supported by others who care about your well-being. You are NOT a burden! Communication is so important to ensure your safety when having suicidal thoughts. If you’d like or feel comfortable you can always reach out to me. Mental health is complex and can make us feel as though we are alone even when in reality we are not. I support you. You are strong, and others care about your well-being.

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  2. sharing the truth about your mental illness is hard and it feels risky. i totally get the feeling of not wanting to reach out too much, not wanting to be a bother. i worry that my friends will get tired of my anxiety, tired of my depression. i try to limit the talk to when things are really dire. when they are, if i don’t reach out, my friends are sad and disappointed. i try to remember to flip the script – what would i feel if my friends reached out to me?

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  3. I am on the other side. One of my best friends suffers with depression. She finds it hard to reach out when things are tough too, and I wish she did. Instead I reach out to her, which helps her. Still, I wish she would come to me when she needed an ear, or a conversation, or just a good cry. She does more and more….

    I am sure the people around you would happily be that patient ear, or strong shoulder, or brain to rely on. They are probably just as unsure as you are and don’t want to bring it up. Have faith in them to be able to handle ‘the burden’, because they probably can (and want to). Lots of love. xx

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    • You are a wonderful friend, and I am sure your best friend appreciates you so much. We need more people like you! You’re right, it’s just a little difficult seeing it that way when you’re experiencing bad thoughts. I am trying my hardest to reach out, and the times I have have gone well. Thank you so much for your comment, it means a lot xx

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  4. These are really good questions, Flowers, and I wish I knew the answers. I do understand that feeling of not wanting to bother people, and I share it myself. I suppose the thing to remember is that people do want to help, even if it’s just to offer an ear and listen to you talk about how you’re feeling. And even if you don’t know what would help (which of course you don’t, as that is part of how depression gets you) just the fact that you’re able to ask for help and assistance can open up ideas you may not have considered.
    Also, a good doctor can make the world of difference. I don’t know where I would be now if it weren’t for my gp. Hugs to you. 🌹

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    • Thank you for your comment! You’re right, recently I have been open to the idea that others may have a way to help that I hadn’t considered before. Visiting my local doctors office is still a huge fear of mine unfortunately. Hugs to you too!

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  5. I think if possible it’s really important to ask a bit before you’re at your lowest. Or have more people to go to. Being rejected because of a person not understanding the seriousness or something can be even more dangerous when a person is at their lowest, but of course it’s admirable to everyone taking that step and reaching out ❤

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      • Honestly I’ve never reached out to anyone when I was at my worst which – I mean I guess it worked until now, but it was also under very specific circumstances and it’s not the way I want to do things moving forward. I think other people like that, who’s good at dealing with problems themselves, just think that it will *always* work which can go terribly wrong heh

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