I haven’t posted in 10 days, it feels like a long time since I last logged in. Simply due to being busy. Stress is normally the main contribution to the severity of my mental health. This is particularly annoying as stress is unavoidable in life. It’s not ‘I’m stressed’ that contributes to the decline, but is often due to (what I call) ‘unconscious stress’. This is where there is a event/worry gives you the symptoms of stress despite not actively thinking about said thing.
Surprisingly, despite having a much busier schedule I haven’t been stressed or overwhelmed by the future. My intrusive thoughts have been a lot quieter. It is only recently that I noticed I haven’t had many intrusive thoughts of suicide, and that in itself is a huge achievement. Even when I wasn’t experiencing them, I was often worried they were going to come. So being in a position when it’s not even on my mind is amazing! I think the reduction in intrusive thoughts is the main reason I am doing so well!
I am thriving! I am doing well in my online degree, going to my part time job isn’t a struggle, and everyday life is great! It not only feels GREAT to be doing so well, but it’s even more exciting sharing it with my partner. I am currently doing my degree part time over summer break, but go back to full time once Fall is here, so that should bring a little more anxiety. But I am currently looking forward to delving more into new modules of my degree!
Distancing myself from my mental illness is going well. Not having it the focus of my life, has already improved my views towards my life, and making it easier to plan the immediate future. I can’t see it yet, but maybe one day I could potentially live a life without this?