Therapy is inevitable?

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you shall know that mental illness and therapy isn’t an unknown in my life.. To say the least! I have attempted multiple forms of therapy, including psychotherapy, CBT, group therapy, online therapy and hypnotherapy. The problem with me is not that the therapy isn’t working, it’s that I can’t stick to it…

This is for a number of reasons, mostly because I find it SO hard and exhausting! This usually ends up with me giving up, and waiting until the ‘right’ time to focus on my mental health. Realistically there will never be a right time. (Unless I deteriorate rapidly, which I can’t see happening again, but logically should be a possibility). It’s either, I’m busy with my degree and part time job or I have lot’s of things planned which means I wouldn’t be able to physically attend weekly. Finance obviously plays a huge role too! But I’m currently in the mindset that I want to travel lots, so am putting my disposable income into that instead… Therapy is very expensive, around $50 a session averagely. As I am back studying a degree, thus am a student, this isn’t the most affordable expense!

What have I tried thus far?- I did online 1-1 CBT with a dr for 6 months, the longest with one person,but it ended due to the dr leaving to open his own business. I really struggled with this news, as it took weeks for me to bond with said dr, and I knew I would have to start from square 1 all over again. It’s a long process! I had hypnotherapy, in a group environment. This is by far the least favourable out of those I’ve tried. I felt like I was the only one in the group who couldn’t relax and benefit from it. Some people just can’t ‘do’ hypnotherapy, which after 2 months, I can say I am one of those! This treatment is mostly used for addiction and anxiety, which I went for stress/anxiety management. I personally feel anxiety is a symptom of my mental health, rather than a condition in itself. So maybe this approach isn’t what I need.

Earlier this year I tried seeing a private therapist outside of a clinic/hospital environment, this was extremely anxiety provoking for me, which I felt I wouldn’t be able to cope with at the time, on top of my life. If (when) I return to therapy, I think this is the route I would take. As it is more relaxed, and I would only be seeing one therapist.

I am (&can) live a normal life despite my mental health. This hasn’t always been the case, and I suspect won’t always be. Therefore, as the title states, therapy is inevitable for me. I haven’t taken any actions thus far. I am in a really good place, which I have been for a couple of months now! So I think I’ll just sail through, as I have been doing so. I do still experience intrusive thoughts of suicide, they are less frequent and thus more manageable! I am trying to be more open when I am experiencing them, and I know how to keep myself safe. I am okay, but I know that a healthier brain is waiting to come inside my head one day!


  1. You are definitely not alone. I’m glad you are doing better now, although it scares me when you say you still think of suicide sometimes. I sincerely hope those thoughts of yours go away for good. I have been down and possibly had depression, although I never was diagnosed because I never had the courage to go to a therapist. I think it’s great that you are trying options and opening about it on your blog. I think just you expressing yourself here is a form of therapy as well!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I really appreciate comments like this, thank you! You’re right, writing on here is like a form of therapy! I too hope these thoughts of suicide go away for good. ( Although I can’t actually imagine them going).
      Everyone can benefit from therapy, you don’t need a diagnosis:)

      Liked by 1 person

    • In my area it’s roughly $50 for a 45 minute session, around $200 a month. I found my therapist on google on a counselling/therapy directory, as they were way cheaper options that a Dr’s office offer.


  2. I’m sort of in the same boat, I know therapy will be a constant in my life but I’ve done so much of it I don’t always need it anymore, even when I’m having bad days now I just know I need to care for myself a little more, as if I were physically sick. If I were to have a long string of really bad days, I think I’d go.

    I feel I’ve learned so many skills from various counselors and therapists over the years and even from my own research that I can practice them on my own now. If you’re interested there’s a great CBT app you can use on your own-it used to be called Pacifica, now it’s Sanvello. It really helped me get into the flow of tracking my emotions and challenging my thoughts on a really easy to use platform. There’s a lot of other apps and websites out there too that help you stay on track with therapy.

    Lovely post, thank you for writing!!



    Liked by 2 people

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