I often get questions on my posts and emails so thought I would compile them altogether and do a ‘Q&A’ style blog post. (Probably put out next week)
Leave your question in the comments and you’ll get a shout-out when I put the post out. (Please state if you don’t want this,and I’ll put the comment as anonymous)
Questions can include anything!! Whether they are about me personally/mental health,book related,random or advice! I’m open to literally anything! (Helps that my blog is anonymous hehe)
I’ll be deleting this post after a little while, and keeping note of the questions. You can also email if you prefer.
I’ve had a little bit of a hiatus and this is mainly because I’m in the middle of a blip. I thought I was doing horrendous but as pointed out from my partner I’m managing well. Despite my current brain, I’ve somehow kept going. I’m still at work, I’m still meeting my degree deadlines. This in itself is showing me how far I’ve come.
Thoughts to self harm have returned. I know I’ll stay safe, it’s just a matter of rationalising and waiting for them to pass. This doesn’t mean I don’t want to, I’m just aware I shouldn’t. It’s mentally exhausting trying to get through them. I haven’t cut myself in over 5 years, and the majority of that time the thought to harm myself hasn’t been present, so it’s a little hard that they’ve returned after so long.
Worthlessness is playing a huge part in my life currently. I’m finding it difficult to see why I should carry on doing all the things I am. I don’t want to engage with anyone as I don’t want to be a burden. I want to go without it affecting anyone. I rationally know this isn’t possible. I don’t even want to leave. I love my partner so much that it’s worth staying alive just to spend time together. I don’t want to burden him. I feel incredibly guilty and worthless that he has to deal with me. He deserves the world.
I feel guilty about the space I’m taking up. I don’t know what I currently should do. I know this feeling will pass (I hope) it’s just a matter of getting through. I’m currently home alone for a few days, so this will be testing. I’m annoyed that I’m experiencing this now. I have so much to do, so much to live for. I want to be alive.
I’m okay. I will get through. Just struggling.
I’m writing this review on a train journey,instantly after finishing the stories, of which I flew through. Roald Dahl is my favourite childrens authtor, and upon finding out he also wrote adult books, I was very excited to delve into them.
I have read very few short stories, so went into this book open minded. Some of the stories were 10 pages long,others only 3. I enjoyed how you could read an entire story in just a few minutes. The aspect I enjoyed most about these short stories in the particular were the endings, often witty and clever. Stories you want to share with others mid conversation.
There is an underlying darkness to ending of each story, which really adds another element, and often takes you by surprise. My favorite of the stories was ‘Parson’s pleasure’. The stories are too short to give you any details without spoilers..
Roald Dahl is an author I adore, and this collection of stories just emphasizes that. I love the language used, the attention to detail , the way the stories unfold. I was hesitate to read some of his books not targeted for children and I didn’t want my opinion tarnished. (not that it could) This book bought me so much joy.
I definitely recommend this book to all ages and genre lovers. I found this book for 30 cent in thrift store! I adore my copy, a vintage style and the pages are tinted with age. Oh so beautiful! If you have read my post on my book minimalism, you will understand how significent it is for me to keep this book on my shelf.
Definitely a 10/10 read!
Firstly, I’d just like to put a trigger warning on this post for anyone who is sensitive to the topic of suicide and mental illness. These posts are written in diary form, therefore it is not necessarily factual/helpful to those who may be struggling, please take this into consideration when reading. If anything causes you concern, you are welcome to email me or reach out to a mental health helpline.
I’m writing this blog post as I’m currently in the middle of experiencing suicidal ideation. I’m having intrusive thoughts of suicide. I don’t feel I can control them. It’s distorting my rationale. I’m not at risk to myself,I know I do not want to go.
It’s difficult hearing your brain tell you to leave. It’s difficult believing your true self that this isn’t what you want. Whom do I trust?
Knowing I don’t want to die doesn’t reassure me. What if my brain takes over completely? I’m not ready to say goodbye.
I’ve felt this way many a times before. Only a few weeks ago I was in a similar situation yet here I am,having had a good month.
It’s confusing being happy and yet also suicidal.
Reassuring myself that this feeling is temporary. (Not because my life will end,but because the thoughts will calm). Such seriousness should not be met with my sarcasm.
I’ve got through 100% of my suicidal thoughts, statistical I’m great.
Tomorrow will be a new day, and I’ll no longer remember the intensity I am feeling right now.
I’ll be ok.
I picked this book up on a whim in a thrift store, as the description caught my attention; ‘It’s not really kidnapping, is it? He’d have to be alive for it to be proper kidnapping.’ The books was 30cent a piece so I picked up 13 in total… I’ll be re-donating this one now I have finished it. I saw the sticker on the front saying it was shortlisted for a few different book awards. I assumed it was a YA, and it technically is, but the younger side of teenager, I’d say 11+. As I am an adult I found this book quite childish, I still thoroughly enjoyed it, but understand I am not the target audience.
The language flowed well, it was very easy to read. I finished this book in one day. My favorite aspect of the book is the emotion. The 3 main characters, all 15 year old boys have lost their best friend. After attending the funeral, which they didn’t feel reflected their best friend Ross’s life, they decided to take matters into their own hands, taking the urn containing Ross to a little village called Ross in Scotland, to give him the send off he deserves.
Each character had different opinions on what they set out to do, although they were all in agreement to give Ross the send off he would have wanted. Upon finding out the death may not have been accidental, they all responded in different ways. The 3 best friends are experiencing grief differently, and I liked the difference each character bought. They fall out, imagine how hard it would be losing your best friend? I think all the characters are trying their best to ‘keep themselves together’. I didn’t expect the ending, but I enjoyed the quietness it bought. (no spoilers here, sorry!)
I feel I was a little harsh calling this book childish at the start of the review. It encountered some challenging life events, that these teenagers had to go through. I read this book in one day, I enjoyed it! (I think I’m just being a little harsh on myself for reading ‘easier’ books).
I would give this book 3.5/5, and would definitely recommend picking it up if you enjoy YA. (especially if you are a teen!)
This is a topic that is close to me from my past, but also still relevant at the moment. A brief background on myself, I LOVE learning! I know it’s nerdy.. but I genuinely enjoy learning new things, so found the content side of education interesting and enjoyable. (I am referring to education including high school and college/university). I naturally excelled in school, and always planned for further education. I become unwell in high school, but (no idea how) still managed to complete my exams to graduate. I didn’t plan on further education/college/uni as I didn’t plan to be alive that long. Whilst everyone else around me was looking forward to graduating and planning they’re future, I didn’t do a thing..
As you probably know, I’m still here! (I’m aware my humor is poor…). Once graduating high school, I attempted a few weeks of education before having to leave due to becoming very mentally unwell. I was at the stage that I was very suicidal, self harming but I still could see a little glimpse of a future, which prevented me from my planned suicide. This is where I had a year out from all education. It was incredibly hard for me, considering I am education orientated. I felt stupid and worthless for not being in education. I understand I needed the year away, but was so glad to restart college/university.
I didn’t exactly choose to have a ‘gap yea’ but that’s what happened. I don’t regret it. I did need the space and time to focus more on my mental health. It did help, my suicidal ideation decreased , and I combated a whole range of anxiety’s. ( I think I wrote a blog post on how I significantly reduced my anxiety in a year). The year away prepared me for restarting school. I managed to recognize how to prevent becoming overwhelmed, dealing with the feeling of not being good enough and how to manage stress.
I have been at university for a couple of years now, and am thoroughly enjoying it. I am managing well considering my previous mental health decline whilst studying. It has given me a purpose in life. I still suffer with suicidal ideation, but no way near to the same extent. I now recognize they’re intrusive thoughts, and rarely want to act on them.
I took a year out of education for my mental health. I am not ‘behind’. I am alive, and happy, and that is my priority. I am not a failure for not being able to stay in education. I am smart, I will get my degree. But most importantly, I am looking after my mental health.
I know this seems a little cringey, but I am struggling a little at the moment and was wondering if anyone would like to become online friends? I lack close relationships in real life since moving. (although I do have my partner) You don’t have to read my blog, or know anything about me, I’d just like to connect with someone. It can be through whatsapp, email, any platform that you feel comfortable with. Comment on this post, or go to my ‘Contact’ page to discuss! ❤